13. Safety In A Tribe
WE FEEL SAFE WHEN WE BELONG TO A TRIBE
A young child relies on its parents to provide for their needs. Children learn to expect and rely on their parent to be a source of warmth, provision and comfort. As the child grows, they learn to trust that their needs will be met.
Our first sense of belonging is with our parents, yet all throughout life we continue to seek belonging. We belong to a kindy or a school. We join a sporting club, craft or music group. We all have an innate need to belong - to 'fit' somewhere. A supportive and well-managed home, school or work environment is good for our mental health. We feel safe where we can grow in autonomy, in learning to do for ourselves, to develop self-control and to understand our limits and responsibilities. In a safe environment, we even feel safe to fail and try again.
People who only do as they are told, who are always forced to follow the rules, live in fear and are the ones who end up suffering the most. Our feelings of control, stress, and our ability to perform at our best, are all directly tied to how safe we feel in our tribe. "Feeling unsafe around those we expect to feel safe with - those in our tribes, our carers, our peers - fundamentally violates the laws of nature and how we were designed to live.” Simon Sinek
"When you look closely at the ethic groups represented in the team picture above, it becomes apparent that they would all belong to other tribes based on their country of origin. It is not inconceivable that if they were not bonding in their sporting team they might all be opponents on the streets of a big city. We are designed to look for safety and protection from our common interest groups."