17. Who Have I Become?
BEHAVING CONTRARY TO OUR PERSONAL VALUES LEADS TO SHAME - Who Have I Become?
One day, we awake to find these negative patterns of behaviour have become "normal" and we are behaving contrary to our personal values. We may be trapped in the coping mechanisms of addictions, poor relationships, jobs or people-pleasing. We realise we are out of control and are powerless to change.
We respond to those around us through our primary operating system of fight or flight, or passive compliance. We find ourselves living with a variety of the following: bitterness, resentment, anger, withdrawal, fear, anxiety, sadness and poor concentration. We feel deep pain, guilt and shame.
"Over the years, I have noticed that most people who experienced ‘Who Have I Become’ recognize this as their breaking point. They often called it their breakdown, meltdown or nervous breakdown. It is then that they start to try to shift responsibility from their own shameful immature DNA behaviour to any outside source, such as an addiction or a mental illness".